I'm Unemployed

I have the worst sense of timing. This is not unusual. In November, I decided that two degrees were good enough, and graduated without attaining my minor. I could have spent another year or so pretending I was getting an education, drawing on the government’s well-applied and generous funding, and living the life of a privileged upper class suburban kid who thinks a couple sociology courses give her (him) some kind of grip on reality (the real reality, not the fake one that the suits all subscribe to, with their comfortable lives and their over-priced cars. And their ability to pay their bills. Scoff). But no, I decided to graduate. I wanted something rewarding. I wanted to use the education I was so petulantly proud of, so I graduated with two degrees in…archaeology and anthropology. Two degrees so retardedly inapplicable that more than fifty percent of the people I speak to think I dig up dinosaurs. Yeah.

And now I'm living the dream! Three of my friends got laid off last month. I am assured that under any normal circumstances it is quite easy to get a job in archaeology. In fact, I had one. And then the double whammy: snow and recession. No projects + frozen dirt = I’m fucked.

But it occurred to me the other day that I graduated with well over three hundred other people. And the regular session graduation ceremony has closer to six hundred people. And probably a good sixty percent of those have ridiculous degrees in English; Sociology; Fine Arts, and the like, so we’re actually likely to be an entire generation of total losers. And to that, I say cheers. I love self-deprecating humour, so I present to you, dear (likely gainfully employed) reader (I’m stealing this internet connection btw), the trials and tribulations of me and my anonymous loser friends as we struggle to buy groceries while still obstinately maintaining our pride in having had one of those so commonly ‘unique’ educational experiences. Please enjoy.